Putting on the Heart of Christ

The Jesuit Post

2012-01-24T06:32:00.001-06:00

First, and foremost, please visit the following website. Often.

www.thejesuitpost.org

The Jesuit Post took my breath away. My best friends, my class mates, had constructed an artful, intelligent, and hip website to talk about Jesus with people. I teared up as I viewed it. I then viewed the staff page.

Doubt crept in.

My joy turned to jealously, sadness that I was not a contributor. Thankfully, I caught myself. Am I really descending into small minded jealously? Yes. So, I prayed. I had to ask God to help remind me of all the gifts God has given me. I had to beg God to show me the joys of my life. I had to thank God for the gifts the men who put this together were to my own life.

Over the years my core sin has been this distrust of God. It seems Satan snarls me by reminding me of what I do not have. As a younger Jesuit, this usually meant a girlfriend. My heart broke as I watched my college sweetheart get married. A few times in Chicago, I returned from a party after spending a magical evening meeting someone for the first time. I remember that I could not breath after one such soiree because Linda (named changed here to protect her) captivated me. I went home and told my Jesuit brothers that I had met the most amazing gal. They told me I needed to go thank Jesus for this. They also reminded me not to honor my vow of chastity and avoid doing anything dumb!

Those years in Chicago, as well as the first year and a half of regency in Milwaukee, Satan would catch me from time to time. "Look at what you do not have. Look how lonely you are. How will ever make friends with these old men you live with?"

I finally turned a corner after almost falling off a cliff.

I went to the wedding of a couple whom I count among my best friends. Unsurprisingly, I fell for the maid of honor. Hard. The image that shocked me into this devotion for her was one of her alone in the Church (except for me setting up for the wedding mass) kneeling, crying, and praying. I got this incredible access to her conversation with God. There she was asking God for help of letting go of her best friend. It was one of the most beautiful images. She had my heart at that point.

After the wedding, I thought of her kneeling and praying often. I began writing her letters and talking to her regularly. After a few months of this, I told a colleague of mine at Marquette I would soon leave the Jesuits to join her on the coast she lived. I then told her about this. She would not let it happen. In fact, she refused to let herself fall for me those months because she knew that God had other plans for me. We broke off communication. I was devastated. Embarrassingly, I had to face my colleague and tell him I would not be leaving. I felt rejected.

I'm thankful for this. My gratitude stems, not so much for the result, I believe we would have had a wonderful life together, but from her wisdom. She could see that I did not trust God. My conversations with her replaced the ones I had with God. I needed to pray, to converse with God about these feelings I had been having for years. So, there God was to welcome me and my broken heart. Slowly, I began to remember how much I loved the Lord. God showed me the great gifts of my life. He reminded me of the ways he worked through all the students I taught. He put in front of me my family. He asked me to stop holding back my love from my brother. He asked me to bring my fears, like my mother's various maladies, to prayer. He asked me to embrace the present.

I began this blog a few months later. It was a way of reminding myself of my need for God. Where was their joy in the world? How could this one tool on the Internet lead me closer to God?

So, today, amidst the sting of jealously, I remind myself of all the love God had given me. God has reminded me of the way He is using me--in promoting vocations, in publishing spiritual reflections, in helping construct a motto for the 2014 year of Jubilee for the Jesuits.

I dreamed last night of taking a walk with my good friend Dan and his little baby boy Benji. In the dream we just held Benji and protected him. I get to see Benji weekly. He is pure gift. There is much to be grateful for.

So, after working it out this morning with God, I now can view the Jesuit Post in freedom and joy. What keeps you from embracing the present? What keeps your heart locked in chains? Who helps loosen those binds? Do you trust in the love of the Lord?

The Suburban Refugee Camp

2012-01-21T13:39:00.000-06:00

I made my first visit to Costco today. What a profoundly strange place! Birds flew through the upper ranges of the aisles. A legion of workers offered lunch time samples of various items. (I decided to not pass on any item to get a true Costco experience. The result: an upset stomach.) And portion sizes fit for armies and big families. I clearly did not find the place appealing.

If the average American family is less than 5 people, how can anyone justify buying such large quantities, even if they do save a few dollars? Why the need to stock up? Hoard?

I actually thought Costco resembled a refugee camp with its open space in the middle lined with clothing. I imagined refugees walking through lines gathering clothes for themselves. In the end, this is why I did not like Costco. The surplus within the store reminded me of the paucity of the poor and displaced.

I put a couple of pictures below for comparison's sake. Thoughts?

First Impressions

2011-12-18T04:39:00.000-06:00

It has been three and a half months since I blogged. But in preparation for Christmas, I will try to post each day this week. I spent yesterday in New York City. Some initial thoughts.

I found the denizens of this city, well, friendly. They helped old ladies across the street, held doors for people, and thanked their waiters. My sense is their perceived rudeness stems from their ability to let someone know when they are acting outside the bound of proper behavior, e.g., honking at pedestrians who hold up traffic by jaywalking. The city needs order to work. The citizens impose it upon each other often enough.
I thought a lot about Mother Teresa. I prayed a lot. There are so many people in this city. I found myself wandering what is happening in their life. I often felt many of them needed some kindness. I can see how sainthood, the desire for it, gets sharpened in a place like this.
The first time I visited Times Square 11 years ago I found it amazing. Yesterday I found it sickening. Too much stimulation in such a condensed space. Too much advertising. It is a must see, but once is enough.
Central Park itself is not spectacular. What is spectacular about the park is that it is a park. I found myself exhaling I was went through the park. We do need a little space from time to time.
I like it here. People are beautiful, if not interesting. All the creativity and vitality that drives the island, stimulates my won creative juices. I hope to visit again. And soon.

Love Bade Me Welcome

2011-09-01T07:19:00.000-05:00

A good friend sent me this poem the other day. My prayer for all of you as this new school year begins is that Love continues to teach you how wonderful you are, despite your own best efforts at times to act otherwise.

Love bade me welcome; yet my soul drew back, .

Guilty of dust and sin.

But quick-ey'd Love, observing me grow slack

From my first entrance in,

Drew nearer to me, sweetly questioning,

If I lacked anything.

'A guest,' I answer'd,' worthy to be here':

Love said, 'You shall be he.'

'I, the unkind, ungrateful? Ah, my dear

I cannot look on Thee.'

Love took my hand, and smiling did reply,

'Who made the eyes but I?'

"Truth, Lord, but I have marr'd them; let my shame

Go where it doth deserve.'

'And know you not,' says Love, 'who bore the blame?'

'My dear, then I will serve.'

'You must sit down,' says Love, 'and taste My meat.'

So I did sit and eat.

George Herbert 1633

Death in the ICU, a story.

2011-07-27T06:41:00.000-05:00

“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” After pausing a few seconds I continued, “If anyone wants to add anything please do at this time.”

At that moment a woman across from me in the circle wearing sunglasses begins, “Charlie was a great man. He really loved my mom. I remember the first time I met him. We was over at his house and he mentioned that anyone who could beat this finger game would get $50.” She had broken the circle at this point and started making some gesticulations with her hands. She continued, “Well I got this game down and sure enough he gave me $50. And that was when $50 was a lot of money unlike now. From that day on, he was a father to me even though he was not my father.”

She finished and we fell back into silence. I could not help but look up at this old, dead man. There he was twisted with mouth hanging open. It was like death had ripped his soul from his body. Inside his mouth were gums, his teeth having gone the same way of his soul. As I stared into this corpse another man continued.

“I love you dad. You were the best dad. I love you and you were always…” His crying took over his body. I managed to make out every third word but what I remember most is his sister putting his arm on his shoulder and rubbing him. “I love you dad. I love you dad.” These words shook me. I thought of the dad I never had and how thankful I was that this man loved his son, not to mention other people’s kids. Somewhere amidst my pensiveness the son finished.

Whether we knew it or not we all slowly turned to the matriarch, Charlie’s girlfriend and common law wife for 30+ years. Somehow she had to finish these proceedings. She sensed this and said, “Lord I don’t need to say anything. We’ve said it all before. I love you Charlie.” It was all she could get out and it fit. Yet I found myself disappointed. I did not get to see the last 35 years. I wanted to hear it in a paragraph. But we all knew that was it. We said “Amen.”

Except this one cousin. He began to pay his own tribute. We all sat and listened but I could not help but feel that this was the one family member with Asperger’s. I guess grief does that to people. We lose our sense of order. Heck death snatches it from us and we look like Charlie, gnarled and agape. But then maybe this guy’s cries are more like a demand on death. You will not take this great man from us. We will not say goodbye. For he lives in me.

Chaplain reflections

2011-07-22T09:40:00.001-05:00

Some thoughts from your chaplain…
Two books have crossed my path recently—The Hunchback of Notre Dame and the Book of Exodus, which the Catholic Church has been reading at daily Mass. Both offer us some helpful reminders on our own journey towards God.

The Hunchback frustrates me to no end. Everybody is in love with the gypsy, Esmeralda, and the one person she is in love with, the Captain Phoebus, just wants to have sex with her and be done. The result: everybody dies except the rich captain who scorns Esmeralda. But as I thought more deeply on the book I thought about beauty. In the book everybody desperately wants to possess the beautiful: the priest and Quasimodo want Esmeralda for their own and Esmeralda wants to possess the beautiful captain. This makes sense to me—we want to own, to consume, the beautiful. How often do we find ourselves frustrated that we cannot make another person love us? How often do we find ourselves frustrated that we cannot have children or that our children are not as beautiful as someone else’s? At work, do we really appreciate the gifts of a co-worker who truly shines at their job or do we hold resentment that we seem less than them? I think Hugo’s tale invites us to examine our relationship to the beautiful. Do we appreciate it as beautiful, wonderful, and mysterious? Or, do we try to consume the beautiful in hopes that it will become our own? I think when we do the latter we end up destroying the beautiful just like The Hunchback shows us.

The Book of Exodus surprisingly compliments Hugo’s tale of unrequited love. After the Israelites are liberated from the Egyptian yoke, they constantly complain about how much better life was in Egypt. The Israelites find frustration, and sometimes hunger, as they make their long journey through the desert crying out, "Would that we had died at the LORD'S hand in the land of Egypt, as we sat by our fleshpots and ate our fill of bread! But you had to lead us into this desert to make the whole community die of famine!" Exodus highlights that our journey to the Promised Land, i.e. Divine Love, is filled with frustrations, even serious ones like sickness and starvation. Of course, the Lord rains down Manna from the sky to ease the discomfort of the Israelites and give them strength for their journey. I’ve been impressed, and even edified, at how tenderly the staff on 5 Tower often rains down blessings upon patients as they cry out for deliverance from their own illnesses.

So, I hope you have had a chance this week to see the way God works through you in accompanying patients during their time in the desert. And if you find yourself in the desert, it might be helpful to reflect upon who are the people that ease your own discomfort.
Have a great weekend!

Paul J. Shelton, S.J.

Fidelity

2010-11-22T14:21:00.002-06:00

I had students make crosses out of sticks last week. Then I mandated that they carry it everywhere they went. Here are some of their reflections on carrying their cross:

"Sometimes I know that I will be mocked and laughed at for doing what is right, but that is just the cross I have to carry."

"I was not received warmly. As a reasonably devout Catholic, this surprsied me in two ways: (1) that I would be a bit put off carrying the cross everywhere I went and (2) that fellow catholics were also put off with it. I think this project helped me realize in a very tangible way the ways in which our society is being rapidly secularized to a dangerous point."

"It was also a time that I realized what other people of other faiths must have to go through because they are require to wear something or do something in order to be faithful."

"I dedicated my cross to the suffering of someone else. I don't know his/her name, I don't know what he/she is struggling with, but for the cross is a promise to help that person carry their struggles. Someone might be bullied, poor, get bad grades, have no friends, or be clinically depressed. Their carrying a much bigger cross than I am."

"My grandma has been valiantly fighting lung cancer for the past year...Thus, as Simon helped Jesus carry his cross in his time of need, my mom and I have helped alleviate grandma's burden."

"I began thanking God for my fidelity."

"Before I carried the cross for the week I was ignorant of the sacrifice Jesus made for us."

"Thinking back on building the crosses it was really cool that everyone helped each other build it."

"Most teens struggle with their faith as they learn about themselves and the world. Carrying the cross helps you realize that it is okay to struggle with your faith but you should not downplay it or reject it because it is a direct rebellious sign towards Gods."

"I felt embarrassed...I now have a better understanding of how Peter could deny Jesus three times when asked before his death."

A matter of perspective

2010-11-04T08:41:00.000-05:00

I'm in the midst of parent-teacher conferences, state championship tournaments, high school musicals, and impending basketball tryouts. These exciting times at the high school tempt me to focus solely on my small high school world. I certainly appreciate the excitement and grace that they provide.

But as two monumental feast days in the Church reminded me this week, so much more awaits our prayers and imaginations. The feast of all saints reminds me of my own desire for sanctity as well as all the wonderful saints who live among me and have gone before me. The feast of all souls similarly draws my gaze upward. I desire to be seated at God's right hand and pray to all the beautiful people who sit there now as intercessors.

So I pray with these holy people of God. I ask them to intercede on my behalf. "Transform my sinfulness. Grow my desire for the holy. Care for those who most need your love and grace."

Grace abounds but so does the need for it to transform our world. With that in mind, I've included a picture of refugees. Lets keep in mind all those migrants and displaced around the world. As I write, 1.5 million people Haitians live in tents as a tropical storm approaches.

Humility

2010-11-02T06:18:00.000-05:00

I've been lost in the virtue of humility the last month or so. I say lost because it is hard to know what to say about humility. After a month let me offer a few thoughts:

1.) The more I pray about humility, the more I painfully realize how incomplete I am. I still sin.
2.) True humility involves having the freedom to choose the route Christ chose--association with the most broken and marginalized people in society. This frightens me.
3.) As I pray with this virtue I'm struck by the wonderful ways others give their lives to Christ.
4.) I'm not the only one who struggles living this virtue. High school students get awful quite when the real ramifications of this virtue (i.e. point #2 above) come to light.

Sorry, it has been a month. If you are still following, post a comment to let me know.

A different sort of friend

2010-10-02T08:21:00.001-05:00

The past few days have been filled with college recommendations. I love writing these. Each recommendation encourages me to highlight someone's good traits. "Johnny Student displays honesty...Billy Marquette exemplifies organization...Dale Topper takes seriously that another's best interest is actually his own best interest..." I enjoy dreaming about another student. But writing these evaluations has also provided me good prompts to examine the nature of a relationship between a 29 year-old man and a 17 year-old boy-man.

Lets begin with the obvious. We are not each other's best friends. I do not spend the weekends hanging out with them nor do they troll along side of my adult friends and me.

Moreover, our social worlds are quite different. I do not find the mall exciting and they do not share my enthusiasm for monasteries.

Yet, we often enjoy each other's company. I find many young people have wonderful imaginations and quick wits. They seem to have a joy about them and do not let the concerns or responsibilities of the world weigh them down. Likewise, I think they appreciate the fact that an adult laughs at their jokes and for the most part understand their often oblique cultural references. I like what they have to say and they like the fact that I listen.

And maybe this is the point of these types of friendships. Maybe I model a successful navigation through the angst and terror that is adolescence and the early 20s. And for me they remind me to keep an open mind and not take myself too seriously.

I look forward to see how these relationships evolve as we both age. I imagine I will witness many of their marriages and listen to them through good times and bad. I wonder how they imagine our relationship evolving over time. Whatever comes in the future, its safe to say that these relationships provide me with much grace and consolation.

For reflection: how do I pray for people in different generations? What graces do people from different generations provide me? How do I hope for these people?

Generosity

2010-09-27T07:16:00.001-05:00

This week's virtue is generosity. A few words before I tell you about my class plans for the week. First, Americans are generous. We give a lot to charity, volunteer our time, and encourage such behavior in our culture. One has to look no further than the smash television hit "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" for proof of our love of giving. The show has been around for years and will outlast many fads on television. Generosity has staying power.

Second, Americans love to recognize and be recognized for good works. We talk about how good it makes us feel to give. And it does feel good to give. And we enjoy when someone writes about us or gives us an award. For youth, this can be helpful as it encourages them to keep looking for virtuous acts. But this need for recognition needs to fade as we age. As we age hopefully we become generous because it is the right the thing to do.

With this in mind, two programs begin at our school this week. The first requires students to look for ways to be generous without letting anyone no what they are up to. The idea is to habituate generosity--to see invitations to be generous as invitation to intimacy with the Lord. (I pretty confident this blog is anonymous enough that the secret is safe here.)

The second is the Joseph of Arimathea Society. We begin year two of committing ourselves to helping the poor, lonely, elderly, or indigent of Milwaukee by offering pallbearers to those who would otherwise have none. Students have commented that this service helps them feel more human. They like a service opportunity that does not make them feel good. Maybe these are good words for us as we ponder our own generosity.

How does my generosity teach me about my own humanity? How does it bring me closer to others? And ultimately, how does my generosity bring me into relationship with the Lord?

Gratitude

2010-09-12T08:19:00.001-05:00

"What belongs to you?" I asked students in a class discussion this week. Some answered their I-pod, others their favorite book (including Harry Potter to my delight), and a few their talents and intelligences. After contuning this round of questioning, students began to catch on that their answers were not quite right. Finally one of them piped up, "Nothing. All is a gift."

One of the keys to the Ignatian worldview is to see the blessedness of creation. In light of the Incarnation, we believe God lurks in every corner. We believe that God gives all gifts--our parents, our opportunities, our innate abilities. Our responsibility of course is not only to steward these gifts but to share them. Sharing our gifts seem to be the key to understanding the virtue of gratitude. The more we are grateful for the way God has blessed each one of us, the more likely we are not to cling to these gifts as ours.

I have found myself incredibly grateful in my third go around as a teacher at Marquette High. I know this will be my last year, so I find myself treasuring student interactions, parent conversations, coaching cross country, and spending so much quality time with the soccer team. I'm blessed to be at a school with so many wonderful people. I treasure these experiences and find my prayer often asking God to help mold these young men into the Christian men the world so desperately needs.

So, I treasure nights like the rain out of the first MUHS soccer game. As we waited for the rain to pass, I found myself in the chapel with 5 seniors in silence praying. I could not help but thank God for such a wonderful experience--sitting alone in silence with teenage boys praying. The kids are alright.

What gifts do I have to be thankful for? How do I share my gifts and talents with others?

Reverence and Joe Simmons, SJ

2010-08-30T06:07:00.000-05:00

Rudolph Otto calls God "the mystery that is daunting and majestic, yet fascinating." Reverence, which is the virtue of the week in my Christian discipleship class, is a virtue of how we respond to these moments of awe, of fear, of fascination. Can we recognize God's unbelievable power? Does the grace of God sometimes terrify us? Inspire us?

This proper relationship of reverence, a relationship of deep respect for something so profoundly outside ourselves, flies in the face of an individualistic society. I notice this most in comedy routines. Rare do you find the comedian who can be funny without taking harmful shots at other people or slip into shocking vulgarity which evokes laughs of discomfort. Bill Cosby always sticks out because he had an amazing ability to be funny without being destructive.

Well we Jesuits have a couple of comedians among us. And I'm happy to say that they are reverent. In particular, I've been impressed with seminarian Joe Simmons ability to impersonate people with love. It is not easy to have a gift of impersonation as everybody wants you to impersonate people. So often that can lead to a destructive breaking down. Yet Joe seems to know how to bring people's attention to the gifts of people while he impersonates them. This summer he did his now famous impersonation of Fr. Wild at the MU summer picnic. Below is the link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bm9uH08eE3E

How is God calling you to a greater sense of reverence? How does God overwhelm you with grace? What is your response to such moments?

Re-Connecting

2010-08-23T19:55:00.000-05:00

I love running into the students for the first time after summer break. I wonder how they matured. What took their breath away over the summer? What are their hopes and dreams for the upcoming year?

They also are excited to see me but their thoughts appear to be a little different. Mr. Shelton guess what I did or where I went. Do you remember my name Mr. Shelton? I'm glad to see you Mr. Shelton. Can you make me laugh Mr. Shelton?

Kids have different ways of re-connecting than adults. With my adult friends, we sit down and lay out what happened over the last few months in gory detail. With my teenage friends (and many students I do consider friends in the appropriate and limited ways a teacher can be friends with a former student), things come out sideways. On a run, or while walking to class a major revelation comes out. And then the student flutters away happy to have let whatever need to escape release itself.

What to I do with all this? Pray. I thank God for whatever the revelation and take people's hopes and desires to prayer. And that is why I love to be back--fresh prayer material to bring to the Lord.

Routine

2010-08-17T23:22:00.000-05:00

After a summer of travel, especially a busy last few weeks, I find myself settling back into a routine as I prepare for the new school year. I find much grace in routine, especially in daily mass. When on the road, daily mass becomes a quest. I usually find myself fishing for change to pay for a meter in some downtown so I can make a noon mass at the local cathedral. It is exhausting thinking about where you will go to mass when you wake up. By the way, if you ever get the chance, go to the noon mass at the cathedral in downtown Columbus, OH. The chairs for the daily mass crowd are positioned behind the alter and you gaze out into this spectacular 18th century Gothic church. Stunning vistas.

So the last few days the I find the comforts of home and the house chapel warming. People often ask me how daily mass was. "Was it a good mass?" My response--well the whole universe showed up. So, yeah. I take comfort in the ritual, the rhythm, and the knowledge that the pray does not have to be performed. It is simply the language of the mass. It is was it is. I thought about this today as I listened to the pray over the gifts, "Lord God, through your sacraments you gave us the power of your grace. May this Eucharist help us to serve you faithfully." In many ways, that is the best description of daily mass I've ever read.

How do you plug into the rhythm of the Church?

Great Post fron Lusvardi

2010-08-12T08:53:00.001-05:00

I just read this on whosooeverdesires and found myself moved. Tony Lusvardi, SJ does awonderful job articulating his summer experience in India. It is worth its own link. Enjoy!

http://whosoeverdesires.wordpress.com/2010/08/09/luxuries-of-a-third-world-church/#more-2312

Frontiers

2010-08-11T08:22:00.000-05:00

One of the buzzwords from the Jesuits latest General Congregations is "frontiers." In fact the pope himself coined the buzzword when he addressed the assembled fathers, "the Church is in urgent need of people of solid and deep faith, of a serious culture and a genuine human and social sensitivity… who devote their lives to stand on those frontiers.” A few reflections on this are necessary.

1.) The need for a solid and deep faith. More than ever I find this the best argument for religious life. As folks continue to become more inundated with media in this digital age, sound bites become attractive, especially in terms of God. People get an"shot" of God here or there but do often want something more. Religious life provides a depth and a reminder to folks that God deserves more than the 10 minutes we give God sometimes.

2.) A genuine human and social sensitivity. Gone are the days of the nuclear family as normative. Families look differently than they did and that is okay. That does not mean the Church should not proffer an ideal, but the Church needs people sensitive to the complexities of relationships that exist these days.

3.) What is the frontier? In the information age, it seems the frontier shifts so quickly. As soon as I figure out Twitter or Facebook, something new springs to life. So, the best I can do these days is name something as a frontier, even if it is being closed.

What are your thoughts on the frontiers of our world and where the Jesuits need to be?

Sweet Home Michigan?

2010-08-07T13:44:00.000-05:00

I like Michigan. In fact, I enjoy it more than I do Ohio. There are more lakes, trees, forests, and wide open spaces. For most of you this statement amounts to nothing. For my family, it borders upon treason. You see, I grew up in the heart of the Buckeye state indoctrinated to despise that state up north. As a boy I often imagined Michiganders as unseemly, toothless ogres. Alas, they are anything but.

But this regional dislike was born out of a football rivalry in which I was reared to view the world in the Scarlet and Grey of The Ohio State University. I still receive playful ribbing while in Michigan for my devotion to the Buckeyes, but the people smile and thank me for visiting their state. They and I are happy I vacation there.

I bring all this up because it is the closest we get sometimes to experience the hatred or regional prejudices of other regions. One merely has to pick up the paper to hear stories of death on the West Bank because of a mistrust of another race. Yet, history has shown us time and again that when people are forced to inter-mingle, to live together, they actually find ways to not only co-exist but cooperate. My favorite historical example of this comes from the Crusades where after the First Crusade many Christians and Muslims lived in the same villages. And in those villages they shared social services--butchers, candlestick makers, etc. But even more than that they often had common worship spaces. When the Muslims occupied the worship space it was a mosque, and when the Christians occupied it, it transformed to a Church.

We can learn a lot from these folks especially how to respect differences while maintaining our own identity. So, from the beautiful wonderful shores of Lake Michigan I say to you--Go Buckeyes!

Internal affects the external

2010-08-05T15:31:00.000-05:00

Like many of you, I have had good vacations and bad vacations. I've been mulling over what the difference between the two is. I've come to this conclusion, my ability to appreciate the vacation as it is determines its success. So often I put expectations on an event that limits the event from being what it is. This has to happen for it to be a success. As a teacher, that is not a bad strategy.

But certainly God thinks rather differently than we do. God gives us gifts and we need to notice what they are. Often enough they are very different than what we expect. So, where do you find your internal state these days? How is it affecting the way you perceive the blessedness of creation?

Peter Faber

2010-08-02T12:47:00.000-05:00

I'm still out at villa so this will be short.

Today is the feast of Peter Favre, SJ one of the original companions of St. Ignatius, along with Francis Xavier. While Xavier and Iggy have gotten most of the attention historically, Peter's quiet prayer-fullness guided the early Society of Jesus. Ignatius often commented that Peter knew the Spiritual Exercises better than anyone.

Peter complemented the big personalities of Xavier and Ignatius by being quiet, humble, and holy. Who in your life brings a quiet holiness to situations? Who often gets overlooked because their gifts are not as evident upon first glance?

Villa

2010-07-30T09:02:00.001-05:00

Today I depart for our villa in Waupaca, WI to celebrate the feast of our founder, St. Ignatius. I've already written once on how Jesuit vacations differ from the tourist idea of vacation. So, today let me give you a few of points that make Waupaca unique.

1.) We treasure sitting on the porch talking to each other. Really, it is a great time to see guys who are literally spread out around the world and talk about their corner of the Church.

2.) Morning mass and four part harmonies. Thanks to a generation of trailblazing musicians that graced the Society of Jesus and the American Church, i.e. the St. Louis Jesuits, many Jesuits in our province love to sing and know the harmonies for the mass parts. Therefore, our masses at villa have some of the most lovely harmonies I've heard in any church.

3.) Br. Al Dorsey. Al who is in his 80s has been coming up to Waupaca for fifty years to cook supper for us. Al's homemade breads are to die for, especially his sesame loaf. All these years in the kitchen have not dulled his sense of humor or good nature as he still is quick with a zinger.

4.) Sheepshead. After dinner, many congregate to play a game of sheepshead and the terms "bluemounder," "Omaha blind," and "loner" fill the lexicon of the place.

I hope everyone enjoys their own vacations this summer and to quote our Holy Father Benedict XVI, "Vacation is a gift from God."

St. Camillus is alive with the sound of music

2010-07-28T09:45:00.000-05:00

St. Camillus assisted living community houses Jesuits who embrace their final mission for the Society of Jesus--to pray for the Church and the Society of Jesus. These men take that mission very seriously as evidenced by the numerous prayer boards around the community. But there is an external manifestation of that prayer that makes me smile--song.

I had the pleasure of having two meals with the men there yesterday and at both meals I could hear singing in the dining room. At lunch, a few fathers were singing the old Church hymns from their youths. At dinner, Fr. Al Schmitz and I sung the Canadian national anthem at the dinner table. This was a result of Fr. Al telling his delightful story of how he ended up in Wisconsin from Saskatoon. May we all emulate the joy of relationship with the Lord that the men in Camillus exemplify.

What song is in you heart?

Sacramental Imagination

2010-07-27T15:29:00.000-05:00

In academia, many words have been spent to discuss how Catholics view the world. Most academics tend to boil it down to this--Catholics believe that God is always at work and so the Catholic searches for signs or evidence of God's grace throughout creation. Catholics believe what the Jesuit poet Hopkins once penned that "Christ plays in ten thousand places/and lovely in limbs and eyes not his/through the features of men's faces." God in all things.

So it was wonderfully surprising to hear the reaction of my fellow Jesuits who just completed the summer mission band tour of the Midwest. The mission band went throughout Midwestern cities to preach the Gospel and encourage young adult Catholics to continue practicing their faith. The Jesuits as they finished found themselves struck with the way they were perceived by the laity. The lay folks who went to these workshops commented how they found Christ in watching the Jesuits interact with each other. The guys on the tour enjoyed each other's company and reveled in each other's bad inside jokes. This in turn filled the participants with hope and love for the Church.

These very astute evaluations tell us a couple of things. One, Catholics do indeed see things sacramentally as evidenced by their observations of the Jesuits. And two, religious life, specifically the Jesuits in this case, still does what is was founded to do--witness Christ to the world.

I just thought this worthy of sharing. People know Christ and can articulate that experience. And, religious life is still very dynamic. Thanks to my brother Jesuits and the wonderful lay people they encountered this summer for emphasizing that.

Catching Up

2010-07-26T09:24:00.001-05:00

Like many Milwaukeeans, "the storm" of last Thursday shifted my energies elsewhere. Anyway, I should be back to a daily update this week.

The storm created extra work. Basements had to be mopped. Travel arrangements adjusted. Emergencies put our lives on hold. And rightfully so. We need to focus on the task at hand. This becomes evident when talking to someone at a wake or funeral after someone close to them has passed. Their relief is a twofold: 1) Relieved that their loved ones are no longer suffering and 2) relieved that they can turn their attention to other aspects of life now that the ordeal is over.

But it is not just emergencies that cause us to shift to tunnel vision. Often our lives get out of balance. As a teacher, I let work pile up and then I have to put everything on hold to catch up. Summers become the time for teachers to imagine new ways to teach, to read books in our field, or simply spend quality time with our families.

But do our lives have to vacillate between chaos and calm? Obviously not, but we accept it as a fact of life. Maybe in these times of calm we should re-evaluate how we go about our life during the chaos. I cannot imagine God wants us to be stressed.

So, do you find yourself in this cycle? If not, feel free to share some good practices that help keep you balanced. Lets try to have some discussion on this.

Second Vocations

2010-07-24T16:16:00.000-05:00

I want to spend some space musing about vocations. First, I think people are well aware of the idea of vocation--where your gifts meet the world's needs. God has an idea in mind for all of us. And through prayer, reception of the sacraments, and spiritual conversation we can get a good sense of what this is. So when the Church prays for more vocations to the priesthood, religious life, consecrated single life, or family life this is what is meant. Let us pray that people discover the grand vocation for their life.

But the more I listen to folks the more I realize that there are vocations within vocations. For example, one's vocation might be to raise a family so career choices are influenced by the question, "What is best for the family?" But a family is not a static entity and as children grow up and move away parents often discover another calling after their children are grown. Tim and Ruth Leacock personify this. Through a casual conversation with a Jesuit working in Africa, they discovered that they could provide computers, training, and maintenance for people in Eastern Africa. After much prayer, conversation, and encouragement from their friends they began Computers for Africa. 10 years later their small organization has helped at least 70,000 people.

So there are many vocations within are vocations. I often marvel when a child begins the vocation of caring for an ailing parent. This shifts their energies and forces them to re-prioritize their life. But whatever our vocations are, we must strive to be holy. The world has plenty of people doing wonderful things, but as Christians we have to do them with the joy, compassion, thoughtfulness, and hospitality of Christ. Everybody is called to holiness. After all, all our vocations come from Christ.

How do you strive for holiness?

Hand me downs

2010-07-20T22:57:00.000-05:00

As the youngest child in my family, I looked forward to the day my older brother grew out of his clothes. His "old" shirts and pants were cool by the mere fact that he wore them. So when they became mine, I treasured them. Anybody who has an older sibling knows how to appreciate a good hand me down.

Today, I thought of hand me downs because Fr. David Smith, SJ has taken some older pieces of church art and incorporate them into the bucolic setting of the Creighton University Retreat House in Griswold, Iowa. He incorporated the tabernacle from the old novitiate at St. Boniface in the chapel. took the stations of the cross from Campion Boarding School and found a tasteful way to feature them in the chapel. The graces of Campion live on in this rural chapel. (Pictured below)

David found beautiful uses for discarded items. He still dreams about having the resources to build a pond or feature some more sculptures outside. But until then he will continue to do what so many of us do--find joy in recycled things.

How do I look at used items with a new eye? How does God view people or things we discard?

Jesuit Middle School of Omaha

2010-07-19T21:16:00.002-05:00

The Jesuit Middle School of Omaha, or Jesuit to the locals, and I have a history. I spent my long experiment there teaching 4th grade religion, tutoring one sixth grader in history, teaching Latin to seventh graders, and most importantly, playing dodgeball at lunch with students. At Jesuit I discovered joy as a contemplative in action. I do not exaggerate when I say that without Jesuit, I would not have had the positive experience I needed to commit myself to this least Society for life.

This relationship has continued over the years. I journeyed back to Omaha for the tenth anniversary and even popped in on one of my old students who now attends Prep. Three years ago a former student of mine Kamren Shannon was shot and killed. I heard the news one night in Chicago and wept. And then to take my mind off of it I watched a bad Julia Roberts movie, which only made me continue crying. Kamren's death reminded me of the grave reality so many of our bright talented black youth face today.

Today was my first time back since Kamren's death three years ago. Despite my sadness, I found that joy from experiment welling up inside of me upon meeting Fr. Tom Neitzke at the door. Fr. Neitzke, ordained in June, brings enthusiasm, creativity, and hope to Jesuit. This is not to say Jesuit has not been doing well but as with most institutions a change of perspective can enliven it. I look forward to seeing how Fr. Tom, the acting principal and future president, leads Jesuit these next few years. And Jesuit will need the help. North Omaha is the #1 place for child poverty in America. The students still have to downplay going to Jesuit as their peers threaten to harm them for seeking an education.

Upon leaving, I could not help but think of Kamrem who ironically died in a family tragedy. As the obit for the Omaha World Herald reported:

"Kamren Shannon was shot and killed in what his family calls a tragic accident. Kamren's uncle, fired three shots when Kamren knocked on his door...During Kamren's funeral Friday, his father, Joseph Shannon Jr. told the packed church that if they want to honor is son, they should use his death as inspiration.
"Every situation is an opportunity for God to work a miracle," he said."

So I left Jesuit thinking that about Kamren, miracles, vocations, and hope. A blessed day indeed.

To learn more about the Jesuit Middle School of Omaha and how you can participate in this unique school contact Fr. Neitzke at (402) 346-4464.

Tony Lusvardi

2010-07-16T11:06:00.000-05:00

If you check the blog role on the right of this page, you will see a blog named whosoeverdesires. The blog features young Jesuits doing a bit of apologetics on various topics. I highly recommend the blog as it is intelligent and current.

One of the writers is Tony Lusvardi, SJ. Tony did his long experiment at Marquette High where somehow he got the nickname "The Teacher." His bald head along with his insightful comments apparently convinced the students that he was indeed a guru.

Here is a short description of his vocation story as found on the homepage of the diocese of St. Paul-Minneapolis:

http://www.10000vocations.org/testimonydetail.aspx?id=16

And do yourself a favor and check out his blog.

Have a good weekend everybody!

Joe Hoover

2010-07-15T06:39:00.000-05:00

In the March 2010 edition of the literary magazine, "The Sun," Joe Hoover, SJ had an article published about his reflections on priesthood. Unfortunately I cannot link the article. This fits for Joe who would want his readers to read his essays in print.

A few observations about Joe:
Joe wore the same flannel shirt everyday during the spiritual exercises. He likes trendy New York fashion items like fedoras and square glasses. Joe once gave me a wonderful CD to listen to when I had to travel home for a family emergency. As unique as Joe might be, he still loves his brother Jesuits well.

So, below is an essay Joe wrote five years ago while studying philosophy. Enjoy the work of this actor, writer, organizer, seminarian.

http://www.wattpad.com/25699-bus-by-joe-hoover

Grace by Association

2010-07-14T07:27:00.000-05:00

I had a wonderful day yesterday. Wonderful because I spent most of the day talking to friends I had not spoken to in many years. And oh the things they have gotten into these years. One of my friends and her husband just moved to Minnesota from the south and are looking for a parish. We talked about why they found it important to have a parish community.

I also spent a large amount of time with some of my friends who are Ignatian Associates. These folks dedication to seeking God through Ignatian spirituality as well as their love of the Society of Jesus. Just listening to their devotion to bettering each other was inspiring. One of the men on the novitaite staff always used to say, "When someone is under a waterfall and your standing next to them, you are bound to get wet." I got wet yesterday. And I'm grateful for it.

Who in your life inspires you? How can you share their joy?

Chris Krall

2010-07-12T21:19:00.000-05:00

Fr. John Belmonte and I convinced students that the new Jesuit, Chris Krall, was a Navy Seal before entering the Jesuits. One young man, who plans on entering the Navy next year, actually approached me and asked me about Mr. Krall's experience in the Navy. I sheepishly looked at him and said, "I think you should talk to Mr. Krall."

What made the rumor believable is Chris's fanatical workouts. Krall dedicates himself to waking up at 5:15am every morning for a two hour workout. Then he proceeds to seize the day with the same zeal he does in his workout. I have been delighted to work and live with him. He brings much joy and energy to any situation.

Chris also has a passion for philosophy, in particular Bernard Lonergan. I think it is safe to say he is the only theology teacher in Wisconsin to teach Lonergan to sophomores. Below is a link for a paper that he presented at the "Lonergan on the Edge" Conference last fall at Marquette University. The papers are posted online and this is the link for his. It was an excellent conference of young students getting into Lonergan.

Chris proves that young Jesuits still pursue acdemic excellence.

http://lonergansociety.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/christopher-krall-loe-2009.pdf

Fidelity, and Yes LeBron James

2010-07-11T21:06:00.000-05:00

My students surprised me this year. In the end of the year evaluation, I asked them which virtue they considered the most important. Many responded with fidelity. The answer basically affirmed the need to be faithful to a commitment regardless of its difficulties. Generation Y surprised me. I guess all the reports of infidelity on television had convinced me that people in our culture did not deeply care for it.

I have thought a lot about fidelity these past days. I observed two friends marry this weekend and commit themselves to each other for the rest of their life. They beamed all weekend. I noticed how one friend who recently proposed to his girlfriend of six years smiled more since the commitment. Choosing something, committing yourself to something greater than yourself actually emboldens you. It frees you to be your authentic self.

But nowhere more than my home state of Ohio has fidelity, or the supposed lack thereof, been on display this week. LeBron James, the native son of Northeast Ohio, announced on national television (in front of 10 million people!) that he will play basketball in south Florida next year. While Mr. James has every right to make whatever professional decision he chooses, the symbolic nature of his departure has shattered thousands (possibly millions) of Ohioans. The good folks of Cleveland consider themselves in a relationship with LeBron. LeBron did not reciprocate the feelings and left Cleveland at the proverbial altar.

I realize I'm giving a lot of attention to a sports figure for a column about spirituality. But I think the LeBron James incident proves that people want to commit themselves. As I told a friend, how much greater joy would LeBron feel if he had committed himself to the building of the kingdom of God. In my ideal scenario one of two things would have happened. 1) LeBron announces on national television that he is giving up basketball to pursue a vocation with the Jesuits. Or more likely, 2) He announces he stays in Cleveland, wins a championship, and uses his fame to help rebuild the depleted inner-city of Cleveland with the ultimate goal of eliminating poverty in the city. In the process, he inspires Ohioans to enjoy sports but ultimately care for substantial things.

Sorry for the long post here. But I think the contrast is important. Do our decisions and commitments lead us to greater love and a sense of purpose? Or, are they about our own self-interest in detriment to the well being of others?

(N.B. I grew up a Cavs fan and adored LeBron until Thursday night. Now I'm not so sure I will ever watch the NBA again.)

Paddy Gilger, SJ

2010-07-09T09:21:00.004-05:00

I always leave smiling when I walk away from Paddy. He listens in such a way that he picks up on the good, draws your attention to it, and then helps you revel in the wonder of such goodness. His charisma is rather extraordinary. People want to be close to this man. People want to let Paddy love them.

These past three years Paddy has been utilizing this extraordinary gift, as well as his deep passion for learning and philosophy, as a teacher and director of the volunteer program at Red Cloud Indian School on the Pine Ridge Reservation. Paddy has taken some time to pull these experiences together through essays and interviews. Do yourself a favor and spend some time with these pieces. I believe you will walk away from these feeling the same way I always do when I leave Paddy--amazed. Enjoy:

A short essay on vocations
http://www.vocation-network.org/articles/show/202

Audio interviews w/ Red Cloud Volunteers that Paddy has been working with over the past years discussing their experience as a volunteer - 2 Lakota kids as well
http://www.redcloudschool.org/volunteers/testimonials.htm

Video interview w/ Paddy on Lakota and Ignatian spirituality:
http://www.jesuit.org/blog/index.php/tag/patrick-gilger/

Mission Band

2010-07-08T09:21:00.003-05:00

I'm on the road this week to see one of my best friends marry. So in my absence, I've decided to let the words and works of my Jesuit brothers fill this space.

Today, we feature Michael Rossmann, SJ. Rossman, 25 and a graduate of Notre Dame, is currently studying philosophy at Loyola Chicago. Michael is a bit of a celebrity as everyone who went to Notre Dame seems to know and love the man. I wonder what happened during his college years to build such a reputation. I gained some insight to his fame while hanging out with some of his college friends last week. [Editorial note: What follows happened at Notre Dame before Michael joined the Society of Jesus.] Apparently God has blessed Michael with a concave chest. Michael has naturally used this gift in public settings to demonstrate how to eat cereal with milk off of one's chest. There are no truths to reports that David Letterman has sought him for stupid human tricks.

But enough about Michael's zaniness. He is a bright, wonderful man who deeply loves Jesus. I'm honored to call him brother. Below is a link to one of Michael's articles which he wrote for his diocesan newspaper. This article describes the opportunities and challenges of preaching the Gospel to young adults. Enjoy:

http://www.catholicmessenger.org/articles/2010/07/01/features/doc4c2a5bf9f35b7814556380.txt

Also, if you are interested in Michael's summer assignment of retreats for young adults read:

http://whosoeverdesires.wordpress.com/2010/06/29/jesuits-on-the-road/

Humility

2010-07-07T16:24:00.000-05:00

"Jesus summoned his Twelve disciples
and gave them authority over unclean spirits to drive them out
and to cure every disease and every illness." (Mt 10:1)

This appears in today's gospel. Briefly, I'm struck by two things. First, the power Jesus gives his disciples. Following the Lord comes with significant responsibilities. Second, the humility the disciples must have had to receive such gifts. Maybe today our prayer can be for a greater humility to accept the responsibilities God grants us as a result of our own discipleship.

Where do you find the need for humility in your life? How do you imitate the disciples by "curing every disease and illness?

Jesuit Vacations

2010-07-06T08:58:00.000-05:00

In one sense, Jesuits vacations look no different than any other vacations. For example, this weekend I journeyed down to Chicago to watch the fireworks with some friends. Pretty standard stuff. But they also differ in how the rest of the day plays out. Using this past weekend as an example, I spent a lot of my time touring a high school with a good Jesuit friend of mine. He works at Christo Rey in Chicago's Pilsen neighborhood. The school, now famous for its innovative educational approach, requires students to attend school for four longer days and on the fifth day they work in a corporate office to help subsidize the cost of their education. To learn more visit:

http://www.cristorey.net/

So I spent the morning of July 5th visiting empty classrooms talking about the various challenges we educators face. So even while on vacation, we Jesuits think about our apostolate (the place jesuits work.) We search for ways to improve, amend, or even change our approach to our apostolate. In this way, we live the idea of "magis," the Jesuit maxim that asks people to seek the "more" in terms of their relationship to Christ.

How do your vacations bring you closer to Christ? How are you being called to deepen your relationship with the Lord? Where do you find Christ at work?

Thoughts on America from America's greatest...

2010-07-04T10:52:00.000-05:00

I've been fascinated with Abraham Lincoln all summer, especially with his virtue. I think he was the ideal executive by the way he treated people. Therefore, on this day on Independence honest Abe will give us a few thoughts from his second inaugural address. What is striking about the address by the president is his obvious references to the divine. For a country that seems so squeamish around religion we can learn a lot from our foremost statesman. Without further ado...

[In reference to the supposed differences of southerners and northerners]

"Both read the same Bible and pray to the same God, and each invokes His aid against the other. It may seem strange that any men should dare to ask a just God's assistance in wringing their bread from the sweat of other men's faces, but let us judge not, that we be not judged. The prayers of both could not be answered. That of neither has been answered fully. The Almighty has His own purposes."

[On the task ahead in the final months of the war]

"With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation's wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan, to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations."

Both of these quotes provide great fodder for prayer today. How do I view others? With magnanimity? With doubt? How does God view others? Do I pray for the betterment of others or just my own self-preservation?

And: does my work bring about communion and healing? Do I care about peace?

Married to reality

2010-07-02T11:17:00.000-05:00

Friendships fall in and out of fashion. I often find I have periods where I'm incredibly close to a few people and then periods, even years, where those same people never cross my radar. And as a young adult this makes sense. My friends begin families and/or relationships and it is necessary for them to devote more time to those. Likewise, the Society of Jesus asks me to stay in one place for a maximum of three years during my formation process. Therefore, the best I can do sometimes is to hodgepodge relationships together through facebook, my cell phone, and the people geographically near me.

But as much as I try to control/maintain certain friendships, the Holy Spirit has a way of prioritizing my relationships. I have found this out through a friend of mine who recently went through a divorce. After seeing her maybe once or twice a year while she was married, I find myself spending more time with her of late. Is as if the Holy Spirit desires me to accompany her at this moment in her life. The kicker is we never talk of the divorce. Rather, I help her with yard work or show her a new feature on her computer. We simply hang out. I have noticed that she has taken priority over other friendships for a while.

And my other friends understand this. They realize that for some reason this person needs some attention and my other friendships can be put on hold. And it is here I feel most close to Jesus. Over and over again, we see Jesus getting on a boat to escape the crowds or going to the mountains to pray, only to have people follow him. Many of His healings are not His idea at all but spring forth from the insistence of others. The Roman centurion or Bartimaeus easily display this. Jesus notices the needs of others around him and responds.

In this way, Jesus refuses to divorce himself from the world for the sake of his own agenda. Rather the people of God show Jesus what he should do. How do you listen to the needs of those around you? Is there one friendship in particular that needs attention these days? How do you encourage generosity amongst your friends?

Carrying our weight

2010-07-01T09:57:00.001-05:00

I've spent the last couple days moving furniture. I'm sore but grateful. Moving a few couches proves to be quite an effort. In a way, it takes a village. And to the village I'm very grateful. I'm grateful to the people who gave us the furniture, my friend Erik who helped me load the van, the high school boys who helped unload the van, and my brother Jesuits who will help arrange the furniture in the house. The whole process mirrors the generosity of God.

When God gives, he gives more generously than we can imagine. The Exodus story is a great example of this. God gives His people a leader in Moses. He then gives Pharaoh an opportunity to listen. In fact he gives Pharaoh ten opportunities to listen. As the Israelites flee God gives them protection in the form of a pillar of fire and parting the sea. When freed the Israelites become discontent in the desert as their journey to the promised land (another gift of God) is more arduous than they imagined. So God gives the manna and quail in the desert. The Israelites have a tough time organizing themselves so God provides them with law in the Ten Commandments.

Over and over, God gives and the people receive. In fact, it is quite an imbalance when one takes in consideration God's generosity versus ours. St. Ignatius, the founder of the Jesuits, grasped this better than most. He mentions, "ingratitude is the core of all sins." Ignatius realized that God continues to bless us "7 x 70." The least we can do is say thanks to God.

What am I grateful for today? How has God blessed me, like the Israelites, over the course of many years?

Its the end of the world as I know it and I don't feel fine.

2010-06-29T14:00:00.001-05:00

Big day in the Church--the feast of Sts. Peter and Paul. More than any other of the early Christians these two guys created structure for the early Church. Paul the great missionary preached the universality of the Christian message. Peter through his kinship with Jesus became the foundation for the structure of the hierarchy of the Church. I could write endlessly on how fascinating I find each of these guys but instead I want to reflect upon 64 A.D., the year of their death.

I wonder how the early followers of the Church, those who expected the second coming of Jesus during their own lifetime, reacted to the deaths of Peter and Paul. Terror must have entered their hearts. I imagine these two guys represented a certain security for the early Christians. I can imagine a variety of questions ran through their brains: Does the Church continue without them? How does my role shift now that Peter and Paul are gone? How much do I believe in Christianity or did I believe because of the charism of these two fellows? Will the grief over the loss of my two friends pass? Why hasn't Jesus come back yet?

I pose these hypothetical questions because they might provide a map for our lives today. It does not take much effort to fall into despair about the future. We experience death, loss, and transition just like the early Christians. Maybe our prayer for today is asking Sts. Peter and Paul for the intercessory grace to trust amidst the fears of our lives. Or maybe we imagine ourselves as the early Christians who mourned the loss of their spiritual leaders. What questions do I ask God when faced with such loss? How do I listen to God in those moments?

Solidarity?

2010-06-28T15:09:00.001-05:00

I love the World Cup. The pageantry, the color, the rivalry, and the nationalism are quite unique to sport. This year i found myself particularly wrapped up in the USA's team. One of my co-workers and I followed the USA-Algeria game through a web stream and congratulated each other when Landon Donovan scored the vital goal. So, this past Saturday I felt connected to my fellow Americans as the USA lined up for a very winnable game against Ghana (formerly the Gold Coast). As most everyone knows by now, the USA lost in extra-time and hearts around this country sagged on Saturday afternoon.

I love this feeling of solidarity. I love feeling connected to my fellow human. Yet, another instance on Saturday showed me how difficult this can be. On my way home from a 5:30am airport run (no plane should ever leave before 8am) I drove through downtown Milwaukee desperate for a cup of coffee. As I cruised the barren streets the only people out that morning were the homeless. While waiting for a red light to turn green, one lady waived at me. I promptly waived back. She then began to approach my car. This was not the intention of my wave. As she approached the driver's side door, I realized I feared this woman. I quickly zoomed around the corner leaving her to fade into my rear view mirror.

I bring this up because it stands in sharp contrast to the feelings I carried in regards to the USA soccer team. I felt connected to our common cause of winning the World Cup but I did not connect to this person on the street. If I'm honest with myself I know the poor deserve more of my attention than sport. Yet loving those on the margins requires me to put myself on the margins. I'm still learning how to do this and find myself grateful for moments like Saturday. Moments that remind me that I need to continue to grow to love the poor.

What are places/instances where you find yourself uncomfortable? How is God challenging you to love in those situations?

Once, twice, three times a birthday.

2010-06-25T14:46:00.000-05:00

Today I'm celebrating the birth of John the Baptist. This should strike you as odd as yesterday was the feast of the nativity of John. Fear not. I celebrated yesterday. And the day before that as well as our community lost track of the date. (This might sound strange but high school teachers occasionally have no idea what day it is. During the school year weeks blend together and in the summer all sense of time fades away.) So being that I celebrated John's feast twice; I said, "why not thrice?"

As a Jesuit I have found that my birthday (in March) gets celebrated multiple times. The actual day of my birthday my mother calls me at 5am to wake me with a rousing version of happy birthday. Throughout the day I receive numerous facebook messages wishing me all the best for another year. My community usually has plans on the day of my birthday. So we schedule a time near my birthday to fete me. My good friends wish to take me out for a beverage. So we schedule that. The next thing you know I've been celebrating for a week and April is just around the corner.

This must be how birthdays are in heaven. God never gets tired of letting us know how much God loves us. In fact, if we examine all our birthday wishes and gifts we realize that heaven is often a place on earth (apologies to Belinda Carlise for ripping off her '80s ballad here.) Birthdays seem to be the one time of year we gaze upon people with the eyes of God. Maybe we need to look at people like everyday is their birthday.

So with that in mind I'm celebrating the nativity of John the Baptist a third time. I will make it a point today to wish all the Johns in my life a happy belated feast by telling them how wonderful they are.

How do you view people? With joy? Suspicion? Is God calling you to view folks through the eyes of God's mercy?

Input

2010-06-23T14:39:00.000-05:00

I often lecture to my students. And every now and then I enjoy bombarding them with information. I feel obliged to show the breadth of my knowledge as well as scare them sometimes with the amount of material they should know. The input/narrative which I so gleefully deliver can be fast and furious.

I write this as I settle into working with the development office this summer. And for a change I'm on the receiving end of input. And my brain hurts. Databases, phone systems, names, ethernet, intranet, calendars, ideas, outreach, appeals, frequency, networking. I listen and take notes. I adjust. I tire.

I think it is good for me to be on the other end, to be reminded of what a student often feels. Overwhelmed. Anxious. Doubtful. Scared. These moments invite me to a greater empathy, especially with those who struggle to intake so much data. Doris Kearns Goodwin in her mesmerizing biography of Lincoln's political genius often reminds the reader that Abe's ability to sympathize with others enabled him to build consensus. My prayer todays is that my own feeling of being overwhelmed may help me as a teacher.

Who in your life looks overwhelmed these days? How can you enter into their struggle and offer it to God? How can these experiences enhance your discipleship?

Lauds

2010-06-15T07:22:00.000-05:00

I'm here in the praries of Schuyler, Nebraska staying with the Benedictines. Thanks to their generous offer to all visitors to join them for prayer, I rolled out of bed at 5:30 this morning to walk over to the priory for 6am lauds...

I've prayed the office numerous times, both by myself and with my Jesuit conferes. Usually, I find some pearl of beauty within it but carry with me the overwhelming desire to finish it. Hence, I have not found it a helpful way of praying although i often pray the office out of obligation.

This morning the monks taught me that the office is about tempo. After each line, we took a beat of rest and then continued to pray together. It was not slow but paced. The effect of this is you find yourself falling into a rhythmn. You listen to the monk next to you. And eventually, you find your soul much like the birds in the morning--full of delightful song. Even as I post this I find myself humming along to the chant of the office.

Thank goodness for all the wonderful monks around the world. Just think, at each moment of the day somewhere in the world a monk is singing the song of the Church.

Hidden Beauty

2010-05-29T08:19:00.000-05:00

Milwaukee's beauty sneaks up on you. Lying hidden among the concrete, the breweries, and the general urban decay are parks, nature preserves, and rivers. This past week two rivers took my breath away. The Henry Aaron trail in the valley runs along the Menomonee river and is surrounded by high grass, orioles, and the smell of wildflowers. I found myself slowing my bike to let the sun and the sound of the wind whipping through the grass enter my consciousness.

Last night the downtown riverwalk (on the Milwaukee river) likewise stunned me. I've been by or over the Milwaukee river countless times. But the riverwalk puts you literally on its banks and in the process you lose the blah that is so many Midwestern downtowns. I walked from the third ward to the north part of downtown and it felt easy and peaceful instead of a trek which it is in reality.

I bring all this up because I think my discovery of the hidden beauty of Milwaukee has helped me grow in love for something I thought was once so ugly. I believe our relationships with others mirror my own growing relationship with the city. We get accustomed to seeing people in certain contexts where their faults might be evident. But if we change the vantage point, we discover God's grace working in surprising and lovely ways.

Where can you change your own vantage point to find beauty amidst seeming ugliness?

Uncle John

2010-05-23T07:08:00.000-05:00

Uncle John brought his beebee gun over to our house every Saturday morning. He would stand in the backyard with that gun propped on his shoulder and pick pigeons off of the roof. I loved this and always wanted to shoot. John wouldn't let me as he knew I probably would tear up that house more than the local fowl. My job was to go find the dead birds and dispose of them.

Uncle John also took care of our water heater. He remodeled our kitchen. He even owned our house. (Mom sold it to him for a $1 in case my father ever tried to sue her for it.)

I thought of John yesterday in mass. I thought of all those Saturday mornings he came over to our house and helped his baby sister with house jobs she couldn't handle--like shooting pigeons. I said a prayer of gratitude for all the attention he gave me as a young boy as well as all the work he did for mom. I then started to remember all those people who quietly came in and out of my life. The man who came to our door dressed as Santa and gave us presents the Christmas mom could not afford to buy us gifts. Tom who used to take my brother to the batting cages. The list goes on and on...

The more I think about it the more I realize there are a lot of Joseph of Arimatheas (the man who buried Jesus) and St. Alphonsus Rodriguezes (Jesuit doorkeeper who saw Christ in everybody who came to the door) than I often realize. Who are some of these people in your life?

Board Room Grace

2010-05-21T06:42:00.000-05:00

God surprises me often. Yesterday I found such a surprise giving the invocation at a board meeting. After our prayer, the chairman of the board introduce the board's newest member. And then the sincerity began. The other members of the board kept delaying the agenda as they each piped up to praise the new member of the board. Their praise focused not so much on his business acumen but on the quality of his character. And how appropriate. It is not what we do but who we are that defines us. We are disciples of Christ. And I was edified to see a bunch of suits recognize such truth at 7:30am on a Thursday.